MASOCHISM:
A BRIDGE
TO THE OTHER
SIDE OF ABUSE
Elizabeth F . Howell, Ph .D.
Elizabeth F . Howell, Ph .D., is Adjunct Assistant Professor of
Psychology at New York University in New York, New York.
For reprints write Elizabeth F . Howell, Ph .D., 111 Hicks St .,
Apt ., 5P, Brooklyn, NY 11201.
ABSTRACT
Masochism is a useful and meaningful term that can and should be
rescued from the theoretical morass in which it has been buried
blaming connotations stemmingfrom its historical linkage to the moti-
vational concept of pleasure in pain disappear when masochism is
refrained as an outcome of dissociation rather than of volition . In
concert with an ever-increasing understanding of the centrality of dis-
sociation in various types of psychopathology (Ross, 1 986;
Beahrs, 1982; Davies &Frawley, 1994 ; Putnam, 1997 ; Waites, 1993;
Watkins & Watkins, 1997), this article presents a view of masochism
as dissociation-based . It also describes the emergence of masochism
from attachment need (specifically, attachment to the abuser) ; and
how the interaction of attachment need with dissociation is at the
heart of the syndrome . It then shows how masochism contains the
seeds of its own transcendence.
Recent research (Dell, 1997) and theory (Blizard, 1997 ; Blizard
& Bluhm,1994) suggest that Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
and Dissociative Disorder NOS (DDNOS) are heavily laden with
masochistic (self-defeating) psychopathology. Although masochism is
not limited to these diagnoses, dissociative processes appear to he cen-
tral to the development of masochistic psychopathology.
While masochism can be defined simply in behavioral
terms, as the tendency to be abused or tortured by oneself
or others, it has often been defined motivationally : the per-
son enjoys suffering or pain and therefore invites or pursues
it. The term was coined around the turn of the century by
Dr . Richard von Krafft-Ebing who defined it as "the wish to
suffer pain and be subjected to force" (Caplan, 1985, p . 19;
italics added) . Underscoring the importance of uncon-
scious motivation, Freud (1955, 1961) furthered the idea of
a wish for, as well as pleasure in pain, relating it to a sexual-
ized wish to be beaten . Subsequent mental health literature
expanded the scope of the hypothesized origins of the syn-
drome, departing from an earlier emphasis upon superego
aspects of masochism to include other matters such as cul-
tural and interpersonal issues (Homey, 1937), early pre-
oedipal issues (Menaker, 1979), and narcissism (Stolorow,
1975), to name a few . However, for the most part, the liter-
ature has not departed from the basic premise of pleasure
in pain . As a result, the term became overinclusive ; almost
any unfortunate circumstance or behavior could be ascribed
to masochism on the basis of the observer's assumption that
it was wished for and therefore self-induced (Maleson,
1984) .This has left a formidable potential for the diagnos-
tic misuse and abuse of the term . For instance, diagnosing
battered spouses as masochistic not only suggests that they
brought the violence upon themselves, but that abusers are
not responsible for their behavior.
LET'S NOT THROW OUT THE BABY WITH
THE BATH WATER
This motivational aspect of the diagnosis has too often
led to harmful victim-blaming, including unempathic and
retraumatizing interpretation by clinicians . In approxi-
mately the past two decades this potentially damaging the-
oretical bias has been exposed, and the term has fallen into
disrepute . In DSM-III-R (American Psychiatric Association,
1987), masochism was linked to Self-Defeating Personality Dis-
order, and this new diagnostic term was placed in the
appendix . Both terms were removed from DSM-IV(American
Psyciatric Association, 1987) . This solution, however, threw
the baby out with the bath water, implicitly leaving a large
and important realm of psychopathology underemphasized
by its omission.
A key issue in a discussion of masochism is that of respon-
sibility for harm . Who is responsible for the maltreatment
of the person who has been labeled "masochistic "? As noted
above, the label of masochism has often been used to blame
the victim, which can then leave the responsibility of the per-
petrator unaddressed . Obviously, the perpetrator is respon-
sible for the harm done . To paraphrase an analogy offered
by Camille Paglia (1992, p . 52), if 1 drive to New York City,
leave my keys on the hood of my car and my car is stolen, I
will certainly prosecute for theft . However, I probably could
have saved myself the trouble if I had locked the car and taken
the keys with tne .This aspect of victimhood needs to be
explained (without exonerating the perpetrator), and the
topic of this aspect of victimhood is masochism . This paper
240
 
DISSOCIATION, Vol . X. No, 4 . December 1997
HOWELL
offers a dissociation-based perspective on masochism.
Understanding this aspect of victimhood in terms of disso-
ciation eliminates the victim-blaming.
MASOCHISM IS DISSOCIATION-BASED
Many of the hallmark characteristics so often found by
writers about masochism are also symptoms of traumatic
abuse : passivity (Homey, 1937), lack of will, and symbiotic
enmeshment (Menaker, 1979), a sense of being blamewor-
thy and unworthy, and hypnotic-like feelings of helplessness
and tendencies toward revictimization (Shainess, 4970) . Long
before the recent literature on trauma, these symptoms of
traumatic stress were described in the psychoanalytic and psy-
chological literature about masochism (Menaker, 1979;
Shainess, 1970), but without recourse to the vocabulary of
dissociation.
It could be that the connection between masochism and
trauma has not been generally made because the term,
masochism, has become so politically charged . To illustrate
how powerfully the term was banished, Davies and Frawley
(1994), who broke ground in introducing a psychoanalytic
approach to the treatment of adult survivors of child sexu-
al abuse, refrained from the use of the word in their text
because they did not want to introduce a politically-charged
and potentially provocative term that would distract the read=
er from their primary message (Frawley-O'Dea, personal com-
munication, 1996).
The repetitive, driven quality of much masochistic
behavior lends itself to observers' interpretations that the
abuse is desired, invited, even pursued . One theme of some
recent theoretical approaches (Benjamin, 1988 ; Menaker,
1979 ; Kafka, Weber, & Howell, 1988) is that the masochist
is not seeking pain or punishment per se but tolerates it in
context of something else that is desired . For instance, attach-
ment need can take priority over the avoidance of pain.
However, even a desire for attachment would in itself be insuf-
ficient to sustain the quantity and intensity of abuse that is
often sustained by masochists . The pain would be intolera-
ble and priorities would be reordered . It is dissociation of
the pain that makes the abuse tolerable and that, together
with attachment need, drives the masochistic solution . The
dissociative phenomena associated with this process include
depersonalization, derealization, amnesia, identity confusion
and alteration, and isolation of affect . Although isolation of
affect has traditionally been thought of as an obsessional
defense, Freud (1894/1962) noted the importance of this
defense in hysteria, describing it as involving the separation
of the incompatible idea from its affect . Freud's descriptions
of hysterics' symptomatology are consistent with those of dis-
orders that have more recently become considered to be
sequellae of trauma and child sexual abuse, such as disso-
ciative disorders, borderline personality disorder, and
somatoform disorders, (Lowenstein, 1990 ; Herman, 1990) .
Masochism can range across different levels and kinds
of psychopathology, from "moral" or superego-driven
masochism to sadomasochism, to severe dissociative disor-
ders . It is the author's thesis that all of these masochistic orga-
nizations are dissociation-based . Possibly, the less severe
involve more "normal" dissociation (such as hypnosis and
absorption, and more permeable internal boundaries) while
the more severe, (such as in Dissociative Identity Disorder
[DID] and related forms of Dissociative Disorders Not
Otherwise Specified [DDNOS]), are characterized by "patho-
logical " dissociation, in which amncstic boundaries between
identity states are impermeable, conforming to the taxon
described by Putnam (1997, pp . 65--67). Despite these dif -
ferences in severity or type of organization, it is in large part
dissociation that makes masochism possible.
MASOCHISM ADAPTIVELY PRESERVES
ATTACHMENT
Bowlby (1969) presents evidence that the human infant
is hard-wired for attachment in the service of survival.
According to his theory, the need for proximity to an attach-
ment figure is adaptive because it provides protection to the
infant against predators . Bowlby (1983) emphasizes the sig-
nificance that separation carries for humans as a signal of
increased risk . How then is the risk of separation handled
when the attachment figure is also a predator? What hap-
pens when survival is predicated upon attachment to a dan-
gerous object? Here aggression and attachment, which are
both necessary for survival, are contradictory . Which one gets
priority? Van der Kolk (1987) has observed that attachment
behavior is often increased by threats from the attachment
object . Threat from the attachment figure increases the need
for protection . Abuse can increase separation anxiety . As
Bowlby (1973) points out, the `clinginess ' of a child who has
been separated, and/or who fears abandonment is a con-
crete attempt to guarantee the availability of the attachment
figure by maintaining proximity . One way for the child to
deal with attachment to a punitive, dangerous figure may be
to split off constellations of representations of the abused
self, the abusing attachment object, and the accompanying
rage and pain, so as not to impede attachment.
Among the four patterns of attachment (secure, anxious-
resistant, anxious-avoidant, and disorganized) outlined by
Bowlby (1988), it is the anxious-resistant style of attachment
that may serve as a substrate that can then be elaborated in
some types of masochism . In the anxious-resistant pattern,
the child tends to be clingy and is anxious about separation
and exploration (Bowlby, 1988) . Coe, Dalenberg, Aransky,
and Reto (1995) describe the corresponding adult "preoc-
cupied" attachment style : These persons are preoccupied
with the attachment object ; they are anxious and hypervig-
ilant with respect to abandonment and tend to be "com-
pulsively seeking and providing care and intimacy" (p . 144).
241
DISSOCIATI0N, .No. 4, December 1997
.  1T R' 1 
k 1 'i 1
 
I'
These authors linked attachment styles to dissociation styles.
They found that scores reflecting preoccupation with the
attachment figure were positively related to the Absorption
subscale on the Dissociative Experiences Scale (Bernstein &
Putnam, 1986) . They cite previous research (Collins &
Read, 1990 ; Halzon & Shaver, 1987) which has associated
parental inconsistency with the anxious resistant pattern and
that neglect and abuse have often been confounded in the
trauma literature.
THE MASOCHISTIC RESPONSE TO TRAUMA
Trauma is often defined in terms of its capacity to over-
whelm (Spiegel, 1990) . It is overwhelming when the person
from whom protection is sought becomes the person from
whom protection is needed (Shengold, 1989) . The result can
be traumatic bonding (Dutton & Painter, 1981), in which
the victim bonds with the idealized aspects of the abuser,
while tuning out the abusive aspects, along with the terror.
Frequent repetition of these patterns can breed cumulative
trauma (Kahn, 1974) and reinforce traumatic bonding.
As a case example, Joe, who had long been traumatically
bonded to his mother, recalled an experience in which his
mother suddenly changed before his eyes - from being his
beloved protector to becoming his attacker . When he was
six, his parents separated, and his father left the home . One
day Joe saw his father in the park and joyfully ran up to him.
Upon seeing them together, Joe 's mother accosted them and
went into a rage at her son, verbally lashing out at him, then
shunning him for speaking to his father . Joe was devastated.
While this child had previously endured many unbearable
situations, he reported that at that moment, for the first time,
he felt overwhelmed with the feeling that the world was no
longer safe and that he was unworthy . Those feelings stayed
with him for a very long time, remaining dissociated from
thoughts about his mother, to whom he consciously felt very
attached, and toward whom he felt no conscious anger.
Attack, threat, or even frightening separation (Bowlby,
1973) normally elicits feelings of anger . In such an event the
child needs to have his or her anger at being separated, fright-
ened or hurt recognized and accepted - to have a way of
connecting the traumatic moment with a safe relationship.
If this does not occur, or if the child is also exploited as a
provider ofnurturant and parental functions, this can breed
even more anger . The child's ability to stay attached may
depend upon the dissociative compartmentalization of
aggression, rather than its experience or expression . The
child 's own angry behavior and experience, rather than that
of the predator, is now unconsciously identified by the child
as the threat . The child's inexpressible terror, pain, and help-
less rage may be dissociated .This may be associated with the
development of a protector self-state which vigilantly mon-
itors the child 's behavior, and/or state that embodies the
disowned feelings, or a protector/persecutor that embod-
ies both aspects . The attached, caring, needy self remains in
consciousness while the enraged, vindictive aspects of self-
experience have been excluded from focal awareness . The
"good" segment of self is enthralled, often unawares, as if
unconsciously spellbound by a rageful, persecutory self-state,
trying to avoid the provocation of others through pre-emp-
tive internal persecution or self-criticism . In contrast, the rage-
ful persecutory self state must be aware of the ordinary con-
scious self to control it . Dreams are often useful in clarifying
the characters in this internal theater as well as those who
may have come or may come out and play roles in the exter-
nal world (Barrett, 1994, 1996) . For instance, one masochis-
tic, and temporarily suicidal patient had a dream about two
women who looked very much alike . One of them was try-
ing to strangle the other . This could be interpreted as the
protector and/or persecutor itself silencing the "good" con-
scious self, or vice versa.
THE PROTECTOR/PERSECUTOR
The function of the protector/persecutor self-state is to
protect attachment . This favors psychic and physical survival.
This self-state supports survival by monitoring behavior
which would be threatening to the attachment figure . It has
often been noted that the persecutor appears to start out as
a protector and then turns into a persecutor . The fact that
protection may require the vigilant monitoring, even per-
secution, of the ordinary self in order to curtail its poten-
tially attachment-threatening behavior is what makes for the
dual role of protector and persecutor (Howell, 1996;
Goodman & Peters, 1995 ; Blizard, 1997).
The normally conscious self may depend upon the pro-
tector/persecutor 's parent-like function for providing safe-
ty (Beahrs, 1982) . While the normally conscious self may
become dependently attached to other people, the protec-
tor/persecutor is counterdependent . Whereas the protec-
tor/persecutor monitors the aggression of the normally con-
scious self, the same is not true in reverse . Among the
problems that this psychic organization can spawn is that this
monitoring activity on the part of the protector/persecutor
(which holds the rage) can "feel good "and is therefore rein-
forced ; its aggressivity can become cruel "sport ." In this way,
the protector may increasingly become persecutory.
Because the protector/persecutor is dissociated and not
available to the ordinary conscious self, the masochist may
be drawn to abusive, persecuting and antisocial others out
of a need for resonance . Brothers (1995) calls this an alter-
ego selfobject - a selfobject that confirms a sense of alike-
ness with other human beings . Since the part of the self seek-
ing resonance is dissociated, the alter ego selfobject fulfills
that need for a sense of alikeness (p . 63) . Furthermore, it
will be harder for the masochist to separate from the abus-
er : the `locking in' effect of projective identification (in which
the victim may project his or her own dissociated rage onto
242
 
DISSOCIATION, Vol, X. Nu. 4, December 1997
HOWELL
the abuser) , is another reason that abuse begets more
attachment behavior . In projective identification, a person
locates a dissociated aspect of the self in another person, and
then, often rather passionately interacts with the dissociat-
ed part . In my opinion, projective identification, which is
often described rather magically in the psychoanalytic liter-
ature, is premised upon dissociation.
Unfortunately, anger and fear of abandonment can each
elicit the other, activating the protector/persecutor . This is
one of the reasons that when things go badly for masochis-
tic people, they can become more and more rigidly self-puni-
tive as opposed to comforting themselves . The self blame
about which we hear so often follows from the trauma-
induced assumption that the person's own behavior is the
only relevant behavior to be modified.
To illustrate, Jill was usually extraordinarily competent.
While talking about an injurious event, her mood state and
demeanor would markedly shift . She would become verbal-
ly inaccessible, mute . When she became able to say anything
at all, the first words out of her mouth would be "It's all my
fault ." She would blame herself for anything and everything.
The injured self-state, including .feelings about the injurer,
had been dissociated and was generally unreachable in any
immediate way . Only the blaming part could speak.
REVICTIMIZATION AND TUNING OUT DANGER CUES
Since attachment is kept in focal awareness and aggres-
siveness which could otherwise protect and serve the self is
not available to self-experience, the dissociatively adapted
individual feels quite vulnerable . This magnified vulnerability
in combination with the fact that danger cues are not avail-
able to consciousness often makes the masochist quite sus-
ceptible to declarations and promises of love and caring by
unsavory types of people . These persons have not had much
experience with real caring . They often can not tell the dif-
ference between the fools ' gold of false promises and the
real gold of sincere caring . Revictimization is an inherent
risk of this type of psychic organization.
The masochist often really does not properly assess
oncoming danger, and as a result, he or she experiences it
as unavoidable . Kluft (1990) has described this extreme vul-
nerability to revictimization as the "sitting duck syndrome ."
As a result of dissociation, the masochist is often deprived
of a vital source of information for self-defense or avoidance
of danger . This can also give us a different understanding
of the behavior of a person who tenaciously hangs onto an
abusive relationship - so often seen as clear evidence of the
desire to be punished . To the contrary, the past abuse was
so intolerable, so unbearably repugnant, that it could not
be assimilated and awareness of it has been banished from
ordinary consciousness (Freyd, 1996) . From this point of view
of the processing of danger cues, instead of seeking abuse,
the masochist is "subject" to it.
Waller, Quinton, and Watson (1995) propose that the
"blocking out" of danger may be more complicated than is
initially apparent . They suggest that the "blocking out "occurs
not because the threat is not noticed, but because the threat
schema activates a second, dissociative schema . They found
that women with higher levels of dissociation were slower to
identify threat-related information, although no less accu-
rate, given time . Presumably, people with a history of trau-
ma would have experienced such danger as unpreventable,
such that their best recourse might have been a dissociative
escape . Thus, the illusion of escape through dissociation may
be rewarding, creating a chronic dissociation that perpetu-
ates the perception of helplessness that has been learned in
certain situations . This may he another way, in addition to
that described earlier, in which dissociation is a mediating
mechanism in depression as well as in masochism ..
IDEALIZATION AND THE HOPE FOR HOPE
The masochist lives in a world of idealization . This ide-
alization can operate defensively both in splitting and reac-
tion formation . In splitting the object is viewed omnipotently
as totally good and all-powerful as a way of protecting and
preserving it against contamination from destructive feelings.
In reaction formation the idealization serves as protection
from guilt about aggressive and destructive feelings (Kern-
berg, 1974) . Both worlds of outer and inner horrors may be
excluded from consciousness . This kind of idealization is
behind the hopeful illusions and denials that the masochist
maintains so tenaciously . Out of this idealization and long-
ing for protected attachment, the masochist invents a kind
of hope for hope, an illusion of hope . Real hope, in the sense
of an expectation of mutuality and affirmation is unlikely.
This is because of both the unassimilated sense of damage
of the self and the probable dearth of experiences of real
tenderness . This attitude of hopefulness, then, is really an
illusion, based on idealization.
While the masochist has dissociated aggression, agency,
and will, what she or he has not dissociated is attachment
need . While idealization and the dissociative tuning out of
danger cues is part ofwhat gets the masochist in trouble, the
illusion of hope holds in place the possibility for the devel-
opment of real hope . The hope for hope in the masochistic
psyche is like holding the place of a person invited to a din-
ner party until he or she can get there.
With the price perhaps of having become a victim and/or
a "wimp," the masochistic person has a time-tested method
of survival which keeps open the possibility for attachment.
This organization of self allows for the hope for a better form
of relatedness . Thus, the illusion of hope, with good psy-
chotherapeutic treatment and/or life experiences, can serve
its function of holding in place the possibility for the devel-
opment of real hope . Having retained the capacity for attach-
ment, the healing masochist may also have the capacity to
take it in, at least to some degree, when an honest, caring,
interpersonally - rewarding relationship is encountered.
243
DISSOCIATION, Vol . X. No . 4. December 1997
MASOCHISM: A BRID E T 1 '
 
' 1 1 it I
THERAPY
To treat masochists, the therapist needs to be able to
understand the dissociative nature of the masochist's dilem-
ma and to observe and empathize with the protector/per-
secutor and its underlying purpose of protection . In so doing,
the therapist should keep in focus the importance of pro-
tecting the patient's sense of attachment in the therapeutic
relationship.
The case of Jane illustrates the kinds of pitfalls that exist
for therapists treating masochists . As a child, Jane had had
a history of physical and emotional neglect and abuse ; as an
adult, she was abused by her spouse . Unfortunately, the ther-
apy became a many-years-long re-enactment of the original
abuse . Jane 's experience of being abused was replicated in
her therapy, wherein her therapist unknowingly retrauma-
tized her by making frequent interpretations that she uncon-
sciously wanted to be abused . Seemingly unaware of her
prosocial attachment longings (which motivated her ten-
dency to hang onto abusive relationships), he interpreted
her having sadomasochistic longings to abuse and be abused
instead . Perhaps the muffled rage that he must have sensed
from her about his interpretations confirmed the latter for
him .
Even if the therapist was technically correct in some of
his interpretations, it seems that his theoretical views
expressed in the context of a unified self set a rejecting clin-
ical tone . The therapist missed the opportunity to ally with
the protector/persecutor, to empathize with how much the
patient needed protection, and to protect the patient's sense
of attachment in the relationship . By implicitly criticizing the
protector/persecutor self-state and the affects of aggression
and rage held by it, he achieved the opposite of his intend-
ed effect . The result was the increase of Jane's rejecting beliefs
about herself and her self persecutory behaviors, including
suicidality.
In contrast, in Jane's new treatment, the focus is on the
positive aspects of her aggression and on the positive func-
tions of her protector/persecutor . Gradually, she has become
able to express aggression, both playful and blunt, and her
general welfare has improved.
An important part of the therapeutic task at hand is
premised on the understanding of masochism as dissocia-
tion-based . Interpretations based on inaccurate conceptu-
alizations may prove non-emphatic and retraumatizing.
Helpful communications will emphasize the positive aspects
of the protector/persecutor in maintaining survival and
upholding the hope for attachment . It can be recognized
that the child may have found it necessary to create a pro-
tector/persecutor and to dissociate aggression . It can also
be recognized that the protector/persecutor has functioned
and may still, in many ways, function to provide and preserve
the possibilities for attachment . However, since the individ-
ual is now an adult, the protector/persecutor can do its job
better by curtailing the behavior of real abusers rather than
by excessively curtailing the behavior of the self.
An awareness and recognition of the former pain which
had been shunted out of awareness can emerge, and a mourn-
ing process can begin .As it becomes more accessible to expe-
rience, the pain of having been damaged and abused (by
others as well as oneself) in a kind of repetitive, senseless
torture becomes more and more bearable by the entire per-
son . The senseless self-torture and the vulnerability to hav-
ing been tortured in the past can become true suffering in
which the person acknowledges that he or she has been dam-
aged and that it hurts terribly . There can then emerge the
knowledge that the willingness and capacity to bear the for-
mer, often repeated, pain and abuse is part of what has made
possible the potential for current positive developments . The
protector/persecutor has indeed performed a very valuable
function . The increasingly healing "masochist" can take cred-
it for his or her strength and basic hope for hope that was
required to endure this suffering . Then a tender new hope,
an attachment longing that expects to be met, can emerge.
a73
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